A letter in response to a friend October 22, 2008
Posted by Greg Troxell in Uncategorized.Tags: brokenness, humility, journey, ministry, potter, pride, soujourners, valley, vessel
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Dear Jonathon,
Thanks for writing me. It ’s good to hear from friends. You ask a good question… you wrote:
I will say this; I’ve learned a lot from your situation and the way you handle it. The lesson isn’t crystallized yet, but it has something to do with brokenness and humility. The best of lessons.
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I learned years ago and taught a lesson that: it is far better to learn from the struggles of another rather than to insist on going through you own to learn the same. Yet some lessons and strengths only come by being tested, broken and shaped again and again.
That is part of it for me, which is different for others. I do have a fair amount of personal strength and resolve. I think most of my pride was broken years ago, but Humility is a VERY low valley. It lies somewhere below sea level but those who live here are not underwater. The vegetation that grows here is unique, as are the people. I’ve lived in California and Virginia – each has their own natural wonders and strain of culture. I have been amazed how God has given me wisdom at a young age and allowed me to minister to the needs of so many young and old. How God has given me millions to manage and thousands of people to care for. How God has moved through me so that He could bless others in unique ways. But this valley called Humility has grown on me too. Here, people don’t care so much about where you have been or what you think you have done. Content to stay right here, those of us who live here are pleased to welcome and minister to anyone who might think they are just passing through and those who have come to join us.
Earlier in my journey when God was breaking me and my pride, I used to think that humility was a simply a process to build up the strong to be stronger but in God’s mold. – The image was like smashing an unfired clay pot that was had dried out but was no longer helpful to hold things and not fashioned quite right to be fired and used to hold water.The Potter smashes those pots and places them in the “sludge machine” where they are wetted again, mixed with the Potters water, blended to a smooth workable clay until it is ready to be fashioned again, perhaps for a slightly different use, perhaps the same (smaller or larger). …
This time, here in the valley of Humility, it seems as though the ground is made of the shards of old pots. We walk on them as do the sojourners who pass through here. Every footstep is breaking them down further, making them into a fine powder. If you dig down with your finger you will find layers of dust and some strata where the shards are larger. Perhaps because fewer people wandered the valley in those years. Sometime you find larger pieces that tell a story of what the pot was used for in the past and the nature of the minister.
I wonder, what will God do wihh the clay that he has here in the valley. Is it the clay that is giving birth to the unique vegetation here, is it the air that is calm with only a slight breeze. No worry. I have grown to like it here. I am not in a rush to leave and may well stay here. But is that what God wants? I am not certain. Even though it has been nearly three years, I have not lived here long enough to hear the stories of the others. I don’t know why some seem to come and stay and others pass through after a night or even a few years. So it makes me wonder a bit more – what is my fate?
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You ask a good question Jonathon, You evolked in me a stream of thought that has been stirring without words for months now. It feels good to write it out.
Thanks for ministering to me today. You have blessed me.
Learning to fall October 14, 2008
Posted by Greg Troxell in Uncategorized.add a comment
Most of us can remember our first bicycle. Not the tike-bike with the red seat that we would race around the house, No this memory is the two wheeler – after the training wheels were taken off.
That must have been the first time in my my life that I felt the rush of adrenaline. Fear, excitement, pride, doubt – all swirled together as my mother placed me down on the seat. Arrogantly I listened only half-way as she explained to me how to stop and how to fall. I should have listened more closely. It would take me time and again to learn how best to fall off my bike – choosing to fall into a bush rather than onto the pavement, having the calm of mind to slow down a bit first rather than race into the stationary obstacle head long at full speed. Some things that would seem natural and obvious get forgotten in the moment where panic overwhelms our senses, our knowledge and reality.
1 John 1:8-9 reminds us that there is a way to recover when we fail, when we fall. It begins with the remembrance that Jesus has already paid the price for our sins.There is no reason to flog ourselves, no reason to allow ourselves or others judge us or condemn us.
Learning to fall is all about being present in the moment and having the presence of mind to keep perspective of what is around us, and all that has happened before.
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I remember too my first new bike I was five. I swung my leg over my yellow Schwinn bike with racing handlebars, a black seat and coaster brakes. Oh I was so proud to be the owner of that bike. Most of of my siblings had hand me downs and I was sure that, since I had several older brothers and sisters, I would receive one too. But my parents surprised me with a new bike…. But that a story for another day!
Sacrament of the Present Moment October 13, 2008
Posted by Greg Troxell in Uncategorized.Tags: Fear, Jean-Pierre De Caussade, joy, loss, Romans 8:28, Sacrament of the Present Moment
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There’s a well-known Zen parable about the man who was crossing a field when he saw a tiger charging at him. The man ran, but the tiger gained on him, chasing him toward the edge of a cliff. When he reached the edge, the man had no choice but to leap. He had one chance to save himself: a scrubby branch growing out of the side of the cliff about half way down. He grabbed the branch and hung on. Looking down, what did he see on the ground below? Another tiger.
Then the man saw that a few feet off to his left a small plant grew out of the cliff, and from it there hung one ripe strawberry. Letting go with one hand he found that he could stretch his arm out just far enough to pluck the berry with his fingertips and bring it to his lips.
How sweet it tasted!
Jean-Pierre De Caussade wrote the book, Sacrament of the Present Moment. It is a wonderful book that teaches us how to live with joy, recognizing that every moment is or will be made beautiful.
Romans 8:28 is the verse that sparks this thought for me nearly every day. It’s one of the first memory verses and for good reason. Since each moment of life is a unique moment and place in this universe, it would be a shame to spend it wishing we were elsewhere or otherwise.
So when the moment has you hanging from a limb, on the side of cliff, one tiger above you and another below ready to devour you, look around for the berry.
